Our lives are stuffed. Stuffed to the brim with beautiful things.
Days are full of work meetings, errands, paperwork, bill paying, cake baking, who knows where the hell the time goes. But, one thing is for certain, all of these things that fill our lives, they are wonderful.
If you can’t tell, today I am at peace. I spent the weekend in my kitchen with smiling faces, and magically, I feel amazing. I slept 10 hours a night. I ate egg sandwiches with my husband. I made raspberry rum filling. I saw dear friends. I laughed. I baked. For the 4th time in 4 months, I used my kitchen. Like, used her good. The scales have tipped back to a sort of equilibrium. By no means calm, but better.
It’s amazing what a good talk with your best gal and a weekend without agenda will give you. It makes you see cold hard truths.
These are mine currently:
1) I put you off for the last few months because I was so busy that I sacrificed the one thing I thought was okay to let slip.
2) I didn’t realize until this weekend, that it was actually me I was putting off. You see, I cook for others and I write here on this little corner of the internet about it. But it started out as a place just for me. At the end of the day, I am so glad you are here, but this here website, it’s just as much for me as it is for you. I feel best when I am in the kitchen and talking to you. There is so much more to tell you about this, and in due time I sure will – but know this. I am not second. I am not last. I am first. And if I need to cancel plans in order to “get right” with myself, then I am doing it – because I feel better today than I have in 6 months.
3) There is nothing in the world that makes me happier than bourbon buttercream. It’s the honest to god truth.
4) If I am not looking and moving forward, I will never be happy. I know it’s good to live in the moment, but I am best when I am looking ahead, planning the future and dreaming. I am done holding myself to today. Sometimes it’s okay to live for tomorrow. I am what I am.
5) It’s okay to be stuffed. It’s alright that we are constantly moving, always busy and onto the next big thing. As long as we take a minute to make sure our life is stuffed with all the right things. Don’t say yes just because you feel obligated. Don’t cut the “you time” out of your day to make room for others. You are not serving anyone by being selfless. Martyrs almost always die in the movies, anyway. Do you. Be who you are. Embrace it. Others will love you for it – and if they don’t, you clearly don’t have room for them in your life.
These are my truths, the too tight fabric of my stuffed life. In celebration, we are eating stuffed potatoes.
- Russet Potatoes - 2
- button mushrooms - 1 cup, chopped
- onion - 1, diced
- garlic - 2 cloves, chopped
- thyme - 1 sprig
- beef broth - 3/4 cup
- butter - 4 tablespoons
- flour - 1 tablespoon
- salt and pepper - 1/4 teaspoon each