Smore Bars

Let’s talk about sharing.  Many people assume that because I have a blog and because I have Woo (strengthsfinder aptitude brillance-ness) that I am the ultimate oversharer with 1000 best friends and I just accumulate people in my life like pez dispensers on the floorboard of your car – but all of these articles about approaching 30, coupled with the fact that it’s my birthday month, have really got me feeling mushy over my friends.

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Like the buzzfeed article that talks about how you know you’re almost 30,  or the nyt piece about how it’s increasingly hard to develop strong friendships after you turn 30 – these are thoughts that flood my heart with worry. What’s funny about this is I am not even turning 30.

It could also be my period. Because, honestly, birthday month PMS is unbelievable. But really – Brian and I have been nomads for the last few years of our life.  We’ve been incredibly fortunate to meet people along the way that we love and will always hold close to us.  But very few of them live where we do.

Please don’t read this as a “The people we know in Columbus suck” but more of a “Have I peaked in meeting incredible people to share my life with?” post. Also, if I meet people and like them, do I really have time to cultivate a strong friendship with them, when I can barely remember to wear mascara?  And even more challenging, what if I love her/him but Brian doesn’t love her/him? Or more likely, vice versa since I’m picky and Brian’s perfect.

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Here is the truth: I get really “boo-hiss” around my birthday time.  It’s because on my sixth birthday I got a pony, which was clearly my life peak, and everything has been downhill since.

These are the cold hard truths of adulthood.  How can I balance the effort it takes to keep up strong relationships with my changing life priorities? When I lived in Chicago or Denver, seeing my parents wasn’t part of the equation.  Neither was fixing up a house. It’s okay that my life is changing, because these are the things that I want, but I can still mourn the loss of a different time.  A time when it was a no-brainer to meet my friends for brunch because I didn’t have 2 sets of parents to see and a wall to be painted. Today, my priorities are different.  It doesn’t mean I love you less, only that I love my parents more. Is that okay? I terrorized them for 20 years so I think they earned this time.

I do assess where I am in my life every year around my birthday, and every year I pick something to be upset about and Brian has to remind me about all the cool things I did and what an awesome life we have and then I feel like a brat for feeling sad about the fact that another year has passed. I also always get my period during my birthday month because I am a female human. So, that. I am a glass cage of emotion.

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I am just approaching this birthday feeling very secure in who I am and what I do and what I want out of life, but wishing all the people I love were easier to hug. And wondering if friends are like eggs – the older you get, the fewer you drop? Err, get?

Thoughts? You over 30 people, have you found many friends in your second quarter of life?

I do think there is a silver lining, though.  It’s these smores bars. If you like someone, simply bring a batch of these and they’ll want to be your BFF.

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Smore Bars

By Whitney, July 10, 2013

Smore Bars

Ingredients:

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350.  Cream butter and sugars together until light and fluffy, about 3 minutes.  Add egg and vanilla, mix until combined.  Add graham crackers, flour, baking powder and salt and mix until just incorporated. Take half of the dough and press into a greased pan, making sure to create a solid bottom layer.  Lay the chocolate bars down on top of the cookie dough.  2 should fit without breaking, break the 3rd bar apart to make it fit and provide 1 solid layer of chocolate.  Spread the marshmallow fluff out on top of the chocolate. Then take your remaining dough to create a top layer over the marshmallow fluff.  I flattened the dough out into squares and attached them where I could get the folds to meet, but I like the fluff hanging out of the seems.  It browns up a little and gives a nice crust.  When I make them again, I'll keep that patch-like effect. Bake at 350 for 30 minutes, let them cool for at least 30 before you cut them.  Don't worry, they'll still be gooey then.

Love,

Whit

 

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Whitney

About Whitney

Whitney is the Founder of Whit's Amuse Bouche, a nationally recognized food and humor blog. When she's not in the kitchen, you can find her with a glass of california cabernet in one hand and a hot glue gun in the other. She prefers sweat pants to real ones. View all posts by Whitney →

6 Responses to Smore Bars

  1. Whit, I’m on the—ahem—over 30 side now and can confirm how difficult it can be to make lasting friendships when you factor in careers, family (plus having kids), living in a different city from most of your closest friends and so on. It’s not that you can’t make new, lasting friendships after 30. It’s just that it’s more difficult to find people who have similar interests and goals and life plans AND can make room for new friendships… and that your spouse can stand. When I first moved to the West Coast, I actually overheard someone in my office say “I don’t need any new friends.” It shocked me because I’ve never been the kind of person to say “I don’t need another person in my life.” I guess I’m just Midwest-friendly and not used to being around people who aren’t that way.

    Most of my friends here have kids of varying ages so they have things like ballet and soccer and other kid-commitments on the weekend, which I totally understand and realize that time will soon come for me too. But I’m also not content to be relegated to the friend pile that only gets caught up with over the phone or email once every few months even though we may not live very far from each other. A lot of my friendships have turned into cross-country friendships since my closest friends have all moved to different places as they’ve gotten married, taken jobs in new cities, etc., and that’s OK because we find a way to make it work, even if it means video chatting once a month to have actual face-time. I think the thing that’s interesting is that when I pick back up with old friends from my childhood or my college years, it’s like we’ve never skipped a beat. We have a history, so the memory of that is in place and it’s not as much effort as getting to know someone completely new. With someone new, there’s not always a will or importance from both parties to make it work because of all the life changes going on around the time when you’re moving up in your career, getting married and having kids. Friends are the family you choose, as they say, and with the people you really care about, you just have to make a little extra effort whether they’re old friends or new friends. Sending you a hug from California, old friend!

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  2. I don’t know if friends are like eggs – the fewer you get- but I can tell you for me- they are the fewer you need. Fewer but better substance/quality. The friends that are important to me are a mix of old and (relatively) new. And, the rest you miss and think of fondly but some people are right for a time. You can always pick up later too. This rambling from a fellow Columbus resident (after a couple glasses of wine) with about 11 more years on you of pondering the same questions. Have a happy birthday!

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  3. I can officially speak as a 30-something. It’s pretty great. People take your advice more seriously and you remember to get manicures more often and you’re generally more smug, with good reason.

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  4. I am approaching 30 this summer as well and have NEVER received a pony, so imagine my devastation.

    The good news is, I adore a s’more that doesn’t require a campfire (so archaic). Thanks for the recipe! I will be sure to try it out!

    Reply
  5. I am 61 years young. If you are planning on having children, then be prepared to have many friends. I met my best friend 25 years ago when our kids were one year old. Every decade, I gain more friends. Enjoy life!

    Reply

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