Let’s talk about sharing. Many people assume that because I have a blog and because I have Woo (strengthsfinder aptitude brillance-ness) that I am the ultimate oversharer with 1000 best friends and I just accumulate people in my life like pez dispensers on the floorboard of your car – but all of these articles about approaching 30, coupled with the fact that it’s my birthday month, have really got me feeling mushy over my friends.
Like the buzzfeed article that talks about how you know you’re almost 30, or the nyt piece about how it’s increasingly hard to develop strong friendships after you turn 30 – these are thoughts that flood my heart with worry. What’s funny about this is I am not even turning 30.
It could also be my period. Because, honestly, birthday month PMS is unbelievable. But really – Brian and I have been nomads for the last few years of our life. We’ve been incredibly fortunate to meet people along the way that we love and will always hold close to us. But very few of them live where we do.
Please don’t read this as a “The people we know in Columbus suck” but more of a “Have I peaked in meeting incredible people to share my life with?” post. Also, if I meet people and like them, do I really have time to cultivate a strong friendship with them, when I can barely remember to wear mascara? And even more challenging, what if I love her/him but Brian doesn’t love her/him? Or more likely, vice versa since I’m picky and Brian’s perfect.
Here is the truth: I get really “boo-hiss” around my birthday time. It’s because on my sixth birthday I got a pony, which was clearly my life peak, and everything has been downhill since.
These are the cold hard truths of adulthood. How can I balance the effort it takes to keep up strong relationships with my changing life priorities? When I lived in Chicago or Denver, seeing my parents wasn’t part of the equation. Neither was fixing up a house. It’s okay that my life is changing, because these are the things that I want, but I can still mourn the loss of a different time. A time when it was a no-brainer to meet my friends for brunch because I didn’t have 2 sets of parents to see and a wall to be painted. Today, my priorities are different. It doesn’t mean I love you less, only that I love my parents more. Is that okay? I terrorized them for 20 years so I think they earned this time.
I do assess where I am in my life every year around my birthday, and every year I pick something to be upset about and Brian has to remind me about all the cool things I did and what an awesome life we have and then I feel like a brat for feeling sad about the fact that another year has passed. I also always get my period during my birthday month because I am a female human. So, that. I am a glass cage of emotion.
I am just approaching this birthday feeling very secure in who I am and what I do and what I want out of life, but wishing all the people I love were easier to hug. And wondering if friends are like eggs – the older you get, the fewer you drop? Err, get?
Thoughts? You over 30 people, have you found many friends in your second quarter of life?
I do think there is a silver lining, though. It’s these smores bars. If you like someone, simply bring a batch of these and they’ll want to be your BFF.
- butter - 1 stick, room temperature
- sugar - 1/2 cup
- brown sugar - 1/4 cup
- egg - 1
- vanilla - 1 teaspoon
- flour - 1 1/4 cup
- graham cracker crumbs - 1 cup
- baking powder - 1 teaspoon
- salt - 1/2 teaspoon
- king sized milk chocolate bars - 3
- marshmallow fluff - 2 cups