Today I am about to get all sorts of lady like up in here. I am talking pink frills, polka dots, ribbons, bows and panty hoes. I am talking baby showers, wedding showers, birthday parties, and tea parties. Pretty much any occasion that you need something girly to serve.
I know you might find it surprising that I even know how to be a lady – I can see you rolling your eyes, right this minute. And I’ll take that, since the occasions I’ve acted like a lady I can count on 1 hand.
Judge me if you want, but I know that’s why you love me. If you thought I was going to be all Emily Post you’d be eyebrows deep in wine right now, cause you’re my crowd. I get you. You ain’t no lady either, tramp.
So let’s pretend, since we are all on the same page here, that there is some time that you also, need to pretend to be a lady. Somebody, somewhere that you know, has to be doing something important like throwing a high tea party. And you’re all, high tea? That sounds adventurous.
Just do yourself a favor and offer to bring dessert. Because someone out there who actually does behave like a lady taught me how to make a precious all occasion dessert, perfect for any lady group. And now, I am here to teach all of you other hussies how to pretend to be ladies, too.
God bless the internet, is all I have to say. I would have been up shit’s creek, amiright? And just for yuppy measure, I used a real fancy sugar, solely for the purpose of being able to say:
“Turbinado Sugar, you know, ter-bin-ahhhhh-dough. It’s natural.”
- dried lavender - 1 tablespoon
- sugar - 1/2 cup
- butter - 2 sticks at room temperature
- flour - 2 1/2 cups
- salt - 1/4 teaspoon
- egg - 1 beaten, for egg wash
- butter - 2 sticks, cut into pieces for caramel
- sugar - 1 cup, for caramel
- sweetened condensed milk - 2 14 ounce cans, for caramel
- Turbinado sugar - for dusting
- corn syrup - 4 tablespoons