Feeling lazy? Well it’s a hump day, I’m not surprised.  But really, we all have lazy days. Hell, some days I look at the pan and say “Dance Monkey, Dance!” hoping that it will do the work for me.  Maybe it doesn’t like being called ‘Monkey’, and maybe it’s an inanimate object which in fact, cannot dance.

Either way, that pan doesn’t show the initiative I’d like to see.  Where’s your can-do attitude, pan?  Pull your weight!

Yes.  These are the kinds of conversations I have with myself on Wednesdays, mornings when I don’t have enough caffeine, or on days where I write so much copy that sentences are no longer in my range of scope.

Today is the sort of day when I start talking out loud to pans.  And gettin’ all sorts of pissed when they don’t respond appropriately.

Then I start saying things like “Look at me when I’m talking to you, young pan!” or “Don’t make me turn this stove around!”

It’s then that I realize 2 key things:

1) I have officially turned into my mother.

2) I should probably just order pizza.

Instead, I will probably make a meal in which the pan does most of the work itself.  It’s clear I have neither the time or patience to stuff, fry, or baste anything.  I am slapping some meat in the pan, and I am letting it ‘do work.’  Bolognese, will time intensive, is a dish that you can walk away from, pour the biggest glass of wine you can carry, and let it do the work for you.


By Whitney, April 18, 2012


Time intensive, but hands-off.



Cook pancetta in a dutch oven over medium high heat.  Once crisp, remove and drain from fat.  In the rendered fat in the dutch oven, cook the beef.  Once cooked, remove the beef from the pan.  Cook the carrots, onions, and garlic in the dutch oven.  Once tender, deglaze the vegetables with the red wine.  Add the beef and pancetta back to the pot, along with all the herbs and spices.  Simmer on low heat for 3 hours.  20 minutes before serving, cook the pasta.  Remove the sauce from the heat and stir in the sour cream and half the parmesan.  Top the pasta with sauce and, you guessed it, more parmesan.

And tell that dutch oven who’s boss.



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About Whitney

Whitney is the Founder of Whit's Amuse Bouche, a nationally recognized food and humor blog. When she's not in the kitchen, you can find her with a glass of california cabernet in one hand and a hot glue gun in the other. She prefers sweat pants to real ones. View all posts by Whitney →

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